Peace of mind.

Autumn is my favorite time of year. There's something about nature that just captivates and inspires me to discover new paths filled with positive change. It's as if every fall, I discover these little things about myself that really create a peace of mind. For nearly as long as I can remember, I did my best to hide the truth. Most times, the reality of certain situations was so intense and scary, I'd find myself daydreaming that I was somebody else, stuck in this beautiful land of "sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows," and I'd tell people that everything was peachy and that I was going to be ok, when in fact, things continued to worsen. To be perfectly honest, it wasn't until a few weeks ago, that the truth began to slap me in the face. My mom has a horrible disease that nearly took her life.  Although we never had a good relationship, something inside pushed me to be with her, forgive her for the heartbreak she caused, forgive myself for hating her at times, and tell her for the first time in years that I love her.  I was the only one by her side, but that's all it took.  Because I let myself be compassionate, honest, and forgiving, she is still with us today.  And for that, I'm so thankful.  So many times, you don't realize what you have until it's gone.  Life lesson: count your blessings.

Colors

"This is the greatest time of day...when all the clocks are spinnin' backwards, and all the ropes that bind begin to fray, and all the black and white turns into colors." -Grace Potter

This woman inspires me so much.  This is one of the most beautiful songs written.

Deep breath.

I find it so incredibly amazing how the littlest things can inspire you to better yourself in the most positive light.  Perhaps it's a movie, or a piece of art, a song, a person that you meet.  Things happen for a reason and if you can't get it out of your head, maybe it's just supposed to stay there.

This week has been a tough one for me.  Unlike myself, I've been sulking in self-pity and frustration.  I've had a difficult time trying to stay positive through a tough time with my family, trying to heal my broken relationship, financial stress, seeking some sort of spiritual guidance, looking everywhere but right in front of my face for something to make me smile...

Epiphany: life is beautiful and for a short while, I get to live in this wonderful place filled with people that do care. Why not follow my dreams? There is nothing that can stop me from persuing what I love. Each doubt is challenged by a stronger solution. Today, I can dance. I can love. I can learn something new. I can discover a piece of my soul that I didn't know existed. I can go wherever I want; it's just up to me to get back on the right path.

The pheonix, one of the most beautiful of mystical creatures is born from it's own ashes. The grass rots into the ground in the fall, but in the spring, it is freshly awakened, gleaming with the brightest, most beautiful green yet.  The tinyest bits of inspiration can get you back on the right track.  Open up your eyes to what's in front of you.  It takes failing to succeed.  Deep breath.  Everything is going to be ok.

Painting: "Friends Under the Rain" by Leonida Fremov

First love.

Beautiful cover to one of my favorite songs.  This one really hits home.

Smile.

"Don't cry because it's over.  Smile because it happened."  --Dr. Seuss

"Eva"
Watercolor by Cate Parr
Los Angeles

Raw.

I adore this video and this girl's amazing raw energy!

Laugh.

Hahaha!

Vulnerability

It always amazes me how the smallest things in life can leave the heaviest footprints on your heart. There's a man I work with, middle-aged and single, with no children, who takes care of his grandfather every evening. Although the grandfather has been fighting for the past three years, this man was always there to push him, to keep him hanging on. It was his passion, almost like his duty. The man is one of the most loving and caring, yet one of the most strong-willed I've ever met and I've never seen a tear in his eyes until yesterday. I heard the news of his grandfather's passing and I knew it would be a tough night, especially because he had to be at work. I didn't say much to him all evening and when the day was done and I was about to leave, I went to express my condolences. I waited until he was alone and told him I was sorry for his loss. His back was turned and all he muttered was, "Thanks, Christina." As I turned to leave, I noticed he was crying. I've never seen him so vulnerable, so weak and upset. I didn't sleep much last night and his sad expression has been spinning through my thoughts all day. I don't really know why, but it made such an emotional impact on me.

Inspiration:  Listen.  Hug.  Be compassionate.  Love.

"It's a long, long road you gotta roll down, before you find your way, my friend. And it's a high, high hill you gotta climb, before you get to the top again."--Grace Potter and the Nocturnals ("Low Road")

Artist of the day- Tim Janis

I love Tim Janis' music. His gorgeous, light melodies blended with the soulful, heart-wrenching harmonies have gotten me through a lot of rough times in my life. This song always makes me smile and reflect.

Indulge

I gaze out my window and find myself smiling as I watch hundreds of sparkling crystals gently floating downward, kissing the ground and creating a bed of pure white. Mother Nature is welcoming February with quite a lot of snow, but surprisingly, I don't mind. Only half the people in the world get to experience the pure beauty of winter, and despite the dryness and bitter cold, I consider myself lucky to be one of them. I find myself a bit caught up in anticipation for one of my favorite holidays, Valentine's day. I'm a romantic. I love lace, ribbons, pink and red, chocolate, wine, and snuggling up next to someone special. February is a time of indulgence, and I plan on doing just that.

Giggle for the day

A blonde recently lost her job and was looking for a way to make a little extra cash. She decided that she would try going door to door, asking families in her neighborhood if they had any random jobs for her to do. The blonde went to the first house and knocked on the door. A man answered and she asked him if he needed any help around the house. He replied, "You could paint the porch. How much would you charge?"

The blonde replied that she would charge $50 and the man agreed. He told her where the ladders, paint, and supplies were. The man's wife had overheard the conversation and asked if the blonde realized that the porch went all the way around the house. The man replied, "She should. She was standing on it."

Half an hour went by and the blonde knocked on the door once more to let the man know she had finished.

"You're done already?!" exclaimed the man.

"Yes," she replied, "and I had some leftover paint, so I gave it two coats. By the way. It's not a porch, it's a Ferrari."

Grace Potter and The Nocturnals - Goodbye Kiss

Favorite Modern Artist!

Natasha Wescoat is my favorite.  LOVE the trees.

The Sound of Sunshine!

This song just makes me smile. Every time.