Peace of mind.

Autumn is my favorite time of year. There's something about nature that just captivates and inspires me to discover new paths filled with positive change. It's as if every fall, I discover these little things about myself that really create a peace of mind. For nearly as long as I can remember, I did my best to hide the truth. Most times, the reality of certain situations was so intense and scary, I'd find myself daydreaming that I was somebody else, stuck in this beautiful land of "sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows," and I'd tell people that everything was peachy and that I was going to be ok, when in fact, things continued to worsen. To be perfectly honest, it wasn't until a few weeks ago, that the truth began to slap me in the face. My mom has a horrible disease that nearly took her life.  Although we never had a good relationship, something inside pushed me to be with her, forgive her for the heartbreak she caused, forgive myself for hating her at times, and tell her for the first time in years that I love her.  I was the only one by her side, but that's all it took.  Because I let myself be compassionate, honest, and forgiving, she is still with us today.  And for that, I'm so thankful.  So many times, you don't realize what you have until it's gone.  Life lesson: count your blessings.