La Bella Vita

There are days where you shine brighter than the sun...
Then, there are days where you have found yourself burried so deep in the ground that you feel no hope to ever see the light of day again.
My heart is aching.
Physically, emotionally, it's dying.
I'm trying to go on with my routine, but my mind is driving me into the dirt.
Each word, each thought that crosses my mind, digs the hole deeper.
I just want to jump in and never come back out.
I wish I could describe to you the extent of this self-hate,
All of which is derived from my own idiocracy...
Getting too close, feeling too much, following my heart,
If this is the way love makes you feel in the end,
Is it worth it to even keep trying, to keep looking?
Is it even worth it to be here at all when I feel this way?
The bottom of the hole is empty except for my thoughts and the thousands of tears that follow.
I can only hope that you're, at least, happy.