October

It seems a little surreal that I'm standing in the midst of autumn once again.
Every treasure that the season unburries, day by day, holds special meaning to my heart.
It makes me look back and reflect on "the good days", when I didn't have a care in the world.

"The good days."
I'm struggling with them now,
to mend things that I thought at the time were innocent, and would never harm anyone,
especially myself.
It's a lot of weight to carry and I often times dream about going back to that place.
Fixing mistakes before they happen.
Is there a way to experience those joyous treasures without reaping any detriments in the future?

I want to be alone for a while.
I want to watch the sun set and transform the colorful leaves into glowing flakes of gold.
They will grasp the tree branches in their final days, gripping as long as they can before falling to the ground, no longer having anything to hold on to.
I am the branches. The leaves are my mistakes. With the new autumn, I will let them go and start fresh.

I want to reflect,
work on my subtle changes.
Fix everything.
The new month brings new life.
New life brings opportunity.
I welcome you, October, with open arms.